AMJOCK.COM Confessions of Brian Pierce, a morning radio disc jockey.

WNNS was off the air.  It was a Saturday night about 7pm - 0 degrees, 20 below windchill - and blizzard conditions.  We weren’t sure why - likely a disruption of power at the transmitter.  The equipment that allows up to operate the transmitter remotely - wasn’t responding.  Obviously the back up generator power wasn’t running either. Here’s where the story gets good.  The engineer who handles this stuff - is 3 states away.  A decision to trek to the transmitter site is made.

To access the transmitter building, we need the door key.  We’re told (Kellie & I) - it’s "in a box" - in an office at the station.  We head out.  Arriving at the station, our master key doesn’t open the office door.  The only key we discover is 3 states away with the engineer.  The decision is made to "call a lock-smith."  We call, and wait.  He arrives and quickly opens the door.  We find the "box."  In it - we discover not a key - but about 50 keys - loose, and none of them labeled in any way.  The transmitter site has been there since 1980 - and likely the key is that old, so we select about 10 of the oldest looking keys, and head to the transmitter.  It occurs to both of us at this moment that neither of us has EVER BEEN TO THE TRANSMITTER SITE - and we’re now sure how to get there.  Remember, there’s a blizzard, it’s now 8:30pm - roads are dangerous and visibility is virtually zero.  Luck shows it’s face, when Dustin Hapley presents himself.  Dustin is a kid doin’ part-time at the stations and he’s about to leave for home.  He says, he knows how to get to the transmitter!  The three of us pile into my 4 wheel drive Suburban and head out.  It’s quite a drive into the country, down farm roads, with giant snow drifts by this time.  Normally spotting a 600 foot radio tower is easy - you zero in on the lights - but remember, there is no power so the lights are off.  At 5 miles per hour we creep down narrow snow covered roads and Dustin says, "it’s right up here I think."  We don’t spot the tower, but we spot the fence around the property.  We’ve made it!  Dustin & I set out for the door with our 10 keys.  Neither of us is dressed for this.  The snow leading up to the site is thigh high.  We wade through and make the door.  We try the keys one by one.  NONE OF THEM WORK.  AAAAAAHHHH.  I decide that possibly the door lock is frozen.  One by one we heat each key with a lighter held under my jacket (remember it’s blowing mike mad) - and try the key in the lock.  We’re up to about #8 when miraculously - the door opens.  We tumble inside and now two lay broadcasters are staring down 2 giant 50,000 FM transmitters and a generator unit.  Luckily the generator had a simple START button, so we pushed it to see what would happen.  It started all right.  Immediately the transmitter began to roar.  I couldn’t believe the sound it made.  Kinda like a truck.  The lights in the room and tower came on - and Kellie back at the road in the truck began to honk the horn.  This was her signal to us that the station was back on the air - she could hear it!!!  

Regular power was restored late the next day - and we were credited with saving about 48 hours of billing.  We literally risked our own butts to get WNNS back on the air.  This is the difference between a disc-jockey and a broadcaster.  

Mid 80’s in New Orleans I had one of the markets most recognizable voices.  I hosted a number one radio show, and was the booth announcer for the NBC TV affilaite.  I was thrilled one morning when my phone rang at home.  It was the production office at WWL TV.  They had a commercial for me to read.  I was flattered that they’d thought of me.  I asked what it paid.  They said, $1500.  I said, "Let me get dressed."  I showered, drove the 35 minutes downtown, and fought for a parking space.  I didn’t bother to ask what the assignment was.  My mind raced for an hour as I imagined what the project might be.  I just knew whatever it was, they’d chosen the perfect voiceover guy - me.  I entered the station and waited a while in reception.  Soon, they came for me.  I’m ready to give them their moneys worth.  This may after all, lead to more voiceover gigs.  I step into the studio and they hand me the copy.  It’s short.  Really short.  It dawns on me that I’d driven 35 minutes, and re-arranged my whole morning for what might be the shortest announcing project in history.  The copy read, "Now open Sunday Noon to Six."  This was a tag on a furniture store ad, and to this day I don’t know why they thought they had to have me for this project.  I read the 6 words, and deposited the check soon after.  I didn’t want them to reconsider and cancel payment.

1979 Champaign, WKIO.  This was a hugely popular station with about 1500 fluctuating watts depending on whether the song you were playing had alot of bass or alot of pianos.  The tower was no more than 75 feet high and looked like a home TV antenna.  This was small time radio at it’s best.  I was the new morning guy and couldn’t believe the main on air studio was fitted with a $89 microphone.  Everyone on this station sounded bad - partly due to the microphone.  Mark Nakada, the night guy, always sounded good though.  One night, I visited and discovered he was using a different microphone.  Ahhhh.  That’s it.  I went to a local music shop the next week and purchased my own on studio microphone.  When I got off the air at 10am, I un-hooked it, and took it with me.  Much of the music I played were my personal albums.  This is just the way it was back then.  The station succeeded despite the technical issues.  My favorite moment was the day it rained and didn’t quit.  It poured for what seemed hours.  The studio was in a steel portable building and the transmitter was sitting on Orange Crush crates in dirt.  As the rain continued, the water began to rise beneath the crates.  The water rose as the transmitter sunk in the mud.  Then, just as we had about a half inch before the sparks flew, the rain stopped.  I was fired before I ever saw this operation cleaned up.  Every disc jockey has a story like this.  WKIO today is full power with a real tower, a real building, and no doubt, a decent microphone.

Jackson Browne came to see Bri.  As always, I didn’t have much advance notice - maybe 10 minutes.  Remember, this was waaaay before the internet - and my knowledge of Jackson Browne was limited to liner notes in albums, what I caught in magazines and what I saw on TV.  Jackson arrived looking tired and irritated.  I imagine he was.  His people probably encouraged him to do this radio bit to plug his concert that night - and he’d done this 1000 times.  I shook his hand and we got into it almost immediately.  Browne was in the tabloids that week - reportedly dating Darryl Hannah.  So instead of me asking the typical "How’s life on the road" question, I chime in with, "So what’s the deal with Darryl Hannah?"  He says, "I don’t wanna talk about it."  I say, "I really like that Lawyers in Love song.  I bet Darryl Hannah likes it."  He says, "Man, I’m not gonna talk about Darryl Hannah."  I say, "Easy JB, it’s everywhere about you two - you are a lucky guy.  Did you see Splash?"  He says, "Yes I did - and what I do with Darryl Hannah is my business."  "So you are acknowledging a relationship with Darryl Hannah?"  He says, "What’s your problem man?"  I said, "You come in here to plug a show I’ve been plugging for two weeks.  We all know you’re in town tonight.  Can you blame us if we’re a little interested in you dating Darryl Hannah?"  JB then walked out.  I asked Brownes’ manager if Darryl Hannah was gonna be there.  He said he didn’t know, but Hannah was at the hotel last night.  Jackson Browne dumped Darryl Hannah within weeks of this interview.  I imagine he liked talking about himself more than Darryl Hannah.

New Orleans 1984.  I’m flying down Airline Highway back to the suburbs after work in my company car.  They gave me a car with my name all over it.   It looked like a clown car, but that’s beside the point.  I ran out of gas.  The gas gauge didn’t work well and I was still getting used to it.  I coast into a Church Parking lot.  My car comes to a rest just outside the front door.  I plan on going inside to use a phone.  I see people inside pointing and sort of running around.  They’re pointing at me.  I just assume they’re listeners and will be more likely to allow me to use the phone.  I walk inside and am met with people shouting, "Praise God!"  I ask to use the phone.  A woman shouts, "You have been sent to us!"  What?  "You MUST go inside the hall sir!  You must go inside!"  What’s inside the hall?  This was no ordinary church.  This ministry had it’s own television network and was broadcasting live all across the south.  The subject of that nights broadcast was, "The Evils of Rock Music!"  These people were convinced I was sent there to repent for the music I played.  They wanted me to go on camera.  I declined over and over, asking instead to simply use the phone.  They allowed me to make a call, and within 20 minutes I had gas and was outa there.  I’ve always wondered if I was indeed sent there that night.  The song on my station when I ran out of gas, after all, was "I want a New Drug."

1987. We have an arrangement with a local Boston comedy club to bring in their featured act each week.  I meet Paula Poundstone, Ellen Degenerous, Garry Shandling - and one Friday morning - Jerry Seinfeld.  Remember, at the time - Jerry was simply a working comic.  He was on the Tonight show frequently, so I knew his work - I simply didn’t realize what he was about to become.  Jerry was a good guy and easy to work with.  He asked what I wanted to do. We both agreed to try something different.  We pulled out our wallets to see how many one dollar bills we could produce.  Between my co-host, Jerry & I - we came up with about 15.  At the time, I kept walkie talkies in my office.  Every now & then they came in handy for bits.  I’d simply hold them up to the microphone and talk to whomever.  This day, Seinfeld took a walkie talkie & the dollar bills and hit the street just one story below my studio window.  I could see him clearly.  Jerry wanted to approach strangers and see if they recognized him from the Tonight Show.  If they did - he was going to give them a dollar.  So, walkie talkie in hand and live on WZOU - Jerry asked strangers, "Do you know who I am?"  The commuters walked on - head down.  "Brian, they won’t make eye contact!  They’re doing that look down when you walk thing!  God Forbid these people look up!!!"  He asks another, "Do I look familiar?"  "Why yes you do!  You’re David Brenner right?"  Jerry says, "Right you are - here’s a dollar!"  We played songs and commercials for an hour cutting frequently to Jerry on the street outside.  Eventually people walked that way because they’d heard what we were doing.  It wasn’t alot of people - just enough to make it fun.  The comedy that day was people not wanting to talk to a stranger - let alone take a dollar from one.  Can you imagine how many people today would show up if I repeated this bit?

This is the story that’s made being in my business worth it.  I find out with almost no advance notice, that members of the band Chicago are on the escalator and headed for the studio.  It’s New Orleans 1985.  Chicago is my all time favorite band, so I am psyched.  I wonder who’ll come in.  In minutes, it’s Robert Lamb, Walt Parazader, Pete Cetera & Jim Pankow standing right in front of me.  More than any other time, I’m starstruck.  I have about 3 minutes till I’m back on the air, so I begin to rant about how I’m their number one fan.  They thank me.  I say, no really - I am YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!!!  I bought all their albums on the first day they were released.  I’d seen them in concert 15 times.  I was in awe.  We begin the interview (they had a show that night @ U.N.O. Lakefront Arena & I had front row seats) and all things went well.  It was the typical rock & roll interview.  What do you think of New Orleans?  Ever been here before?  Where have you been?  Where do you go next?  What song is the next single?  I went to commercials and then asked them something just between us.  Being that I’d seen them so many times, I knew that they didn’t always play my favorite song - Make Me Smile.  I wanted to know if they’d planned to play it that night.  They said, they didn’t know - the set list wasn’t finished yet.  Then I asked this: "If you wanted to, could you play side two of Chicago II?"  Side two of Chicago II is one continuous 28 minute piece, and Make Me Smile is part of it.  They all looked at each other and said, "yeah sure."  I asked again, "You could play the whole thing from memory?"  They assured me that back in the early 70’s often their tracks were recorded in one straight through take.  I thought that was cool.  We talked on air for another 10 minutes or so and they left without incident.  That night I went to the show and was planted in the front row dead center.  I had the best seat in the house.  The band came on.  The crowd cheered - and before the applause died, they broke into SIDE TWO OF CHICAGO II.  They played the whole thing front to back.  I was crying.  I actually wept when my heroes did this.  Never on Earth did I expect them to do this.  I never really asked them if they would.  Maybe they had planned this all along.  Over the years I’ve come to believe that they did this for me that night.  Since -  I’ve seen Chicago in concert - twice.  Both times they began the concert with SIDE TWO OF CHICAGO II.  They must like it too - I mean II.

I was Iraq’s first rock & roll disc jockey.  That’s a hell of a claim - but true.  2004 Camp Freedom Mosul Iraq.  Brian & Kellie have an "in" with the public affairs unit and discover they’ll sign on what they’re gonna call Radio TFO-FM 94.6.  TFO as in Task Force Olympia.  The station intends to transmit information to military personnel.  I ask if they intend to broadcast music.  They hadn’t really considered it.  The stations reach is Mosul Iraq & 15 miles in all directions.  I suggest they program music and offer to send complete shows on CD.  They take me up on the offer -agreeing to broadcast the shows.  The Iraqi people have never heard American Rock & Roll radio.  In June, July & August 2004, they finally did.  Adrian Cronauer yelled "Good Morning Vietman" in the 60’s.  His broadcasts originated from the structured AFRTS.  35 years later, using a briefcase transmitter, I was the first to scream, "Good Morning Iraq!"  I wanted to give away a goat to the 9th caller.  I was told maybe that wasn’t a good idea.

You’re on the air on the hometown radio station at 9pm.  You get off at midnight.  It’s raining ice and you don’t have an icescraper.  What would you do?  I thought that in a couple of hours I’d have an impossible situation on my hands.  I was afraid I’d not be able to see through the windshield.  I simply went on the air and asked if anyone had a spare icescraper.  If anyone had one they should come to the radio station right now.  "To make it worth your while, I’ll give you the new Journey album."  (We had a giant box of them in the hall.)  I went to the door after the announcement expecting to see a car drive up.  Seconds later one did.  I grabbed an album, went outside, they gave me a scraper, I ran back inside thinking I’d just go back on the air in minutes and say thanks.  It wasn’t gonna be that easy.  Before I could make it to the stairs, I saw more headlights.  It was another car.  I grabbed another album.  Then I saw more lights, I grabbed another album.  I ran outside and was met by those cars and three more.  I exchanged the albums for scrapers, grabbed more albums and got more scrapers.  More headlights.  More, then more, then more, then more, then more, then more came.  There were 50 albums in the box that night, and at midnight I had 50 icescrapers.  In about 15 minutes, I had a lifetime supply of icescrapers, and about two and a half hours to concoct a story to tell my boss about what happened to the box of Journey albums.  I don’t recall getting into hot water over this - he must have understood - maybe he heard the bit - but that night I discovered the power of what I’d chosen to do for a living.

When you talk on the radio for a living, one thing to remember, is you must bond with an audience before you do anything outrageous.  By that I mean, an audience will forgive you of most anything, if they know you and decidely like you.  Case in point: exact same piece performed on air.  Two different stations, two different times.

KLLS San Antonio.  I wrote a parody song called "O Come all ye shoppers".  I narrated the lyrics to the classic hymm.  I had been on the air there a couple of years and people loved it.  It was requested again and again, and was published in the Express News.  Home run bit.  Why not re-run it? 

WNNS Springfield 20 years later.  I’m on the air less that 90 days.  I haven’t bonded with the audience yet.  I performed the same bit.  I did it live from memory.  It goes like this:

OH COME ALL YE SHOPPERS

JOYFUL & TRIUMPHANT

OH COME YE, OH COME YE, TO SHOPPING MALLS

GO DO YOUR SPENDING

NO PAYMENT FOR 90 DAYS

AND COME LET US REJOICE HIM

HE WHO SAYS, "JUST CHARGE IT"

AND COME LET US REJOICE HIM

WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK

Hard to believe we got complaint calls over that one - but we did.  "How dare you ridicule THE LORD that way?"   It blew over, I went on to bond with the audience, like I have bonded with no other - and have since done this bit five times to not one call.