AMJOCK.COM Confessions of Brian Pierce, a morning radio disc jockey.

So I’m doing a broadcast from San Antonios new Sea World.  The celebrities are out in force.  One by one, Bri meets with them on air.  I’m told that in 15 minutes I’ll do a piece with William P. Clements & Patrick Duffy.  Bill Clements was the beloved Governor & Duffy was the beloved Bobby Ewing from Dallas.  I was excited.  I had a moment, so I decided to have a sub sandwich.  Sea World was providing an endless supply of goodies for the media.  Minutes before the interview, and I mean 120 seconds - I realize that the sandwich has loostened my passenger side front tooth.  It’s a false tooth I’ve had since childhood - (I lost it in an accident.)  The tooth had never loostened before.  I was wary - but confident the tooth wouldn’t just pop out.  The celebrities are ready and so is Bri.  The interview begins.  I speak first with Duffy.  "So Bobby, may I call you Bobb"…spurt.  My tooth careened off his shoulder and onto the floor under a chair.  I don’t think Duffy saw what happened.  I tried to continue, but immediately realized that with no front tooth - I speak like Daffy Duck.  It’s impossible to innunciate.  God it was terrible.  I imagine Duffy wondered how I’d managed a career in radio with a speech impediment.  I cut it as short as possible and took a break.  I tried then to secretly re-install the tooth.  It didn’t work.  I slobbered all over the Texas Governor too.  I slobbered for another hour or so and spit the tooth out one last time on the tram going back to the car.  It literally shot onto the parking lot - causing me to jump out after it.  I was at the Dentist the next day.  Since, I’ve only lost the tooth on air just once - at WNNS about 10 years ago.  It wasn’t a problem - because now I keep glue handy.  I learned from history, and therefor will not repeat it.

WZOU was in downtown Boston in Copley Plaza.  This is a hub of Boston activity.  Always packed and always busy.  Always imossible to find a parking place - unless you paid through the nose.  Arriving in Boston from New Orleans, I assumed my company would pay for my parking.  They did in New Orleans.  This was a mistake.  Day one I’m told I can park across the street in the garage for $450 a month.  UGGGGH.  Surely they must be kidding.  They were serious.  The fault was all mine not negotiating parking into my contract.  I decide to park on the street.  Arriving at the station @ 4:30am each morning presented me with many on the street parking possibilities.  I decide this just might work out - until the parking tickets came.  There was no way I could do a radio show and feed the meter.  The meter maids didn’t begin showing up until about 8:30am - so that’s usually when I got my first ticket of the day.  Sometimes I watched helplessly from the studio window overlooking the street as my ticket was written.  I’d place them in my glovebox and prepare for the next ticket.  Boston Police place a boot on your front tire - rendering your car immobile if you fail to pay parking fines.  Before the boot - you had to hit a certain mark in uncollected fees.  I believe it was $500.  I monitored my ticket total, and just shy of $500 - I switched cars.  That worked for a while, until car #2 was at $500.  Then I switched back to car #1 with different plates.   Then to car #2 with different plates.  Then back to #1 with different plates again.  Then to car #2.  I’d still be working in Boston today - but I ran out of cars & plates.  I haven’t been back either.  I imagine I’m still on their "most wanted list."

As Politicians go, John Shimkus is a big dog. He’s an Illinois Congressman from the 19th district. John serves on the House Energy and Commerce Committee and is a member of three Energy and Commerce Subcommittees: Telecommunications and the Internet; Health; and Energy and Air Quality. Shimkus said SHIT on my air.  Shimkus was in my building for an interview on our news talk sister station.  Before he left, we asked him if he’d like to make an appearance on our show.  He said sure.  At the moment he came into the studio, we were playing a contest called "Password" with a caller contestant.  John agreed to act as the "celebrity contestant."  The caller was given the password - (fertilizer) - and Shimkus was to be given three one word clues to say - Fertilizer!  The caller says, "Manure."  Shimkus blurts, "SHIT!"  By his enthusiasm exclaiming SHIT, it was apparent he thought he’d won the game.  He of course didn’t, as we couldn’t stop laughing long enough to continue playing.  The callers in the subsequent days bragged they were listening to hear this Great Moment in broadcasting - and for most this sealed their support for Shimkus - as this was the first time most had heard a politician being "real."  FCC complaints?  Not one.  Everyone thought it was golden.