AMJOCK.COM Confessions of Brian Pierce, a morning radio disc jockey.

Mid 80’s in New Orleans I had one of the markets most recognizable voices.  I hosted a number one radio show, and was the booth announcer for the NBC TV affilaite.  I was thrilled one morning when my phone rang at home.  It was the production office at WWL TV.  They had a commercial for me to read.  I was flattered that they’d thought of me.  I asked what it paid.  They said, $1500.  I said, "Let me get dressed."  I showered, drove the 35 minutes downtown, and fought for a parking space.  I didn’t bother to ask what the assignment was.  My mind raced for an hour as I imagined what the project might be.  I just knew whatever it was, they’d chosen the perfect voiceover guy - me.  I entered the station and waited a while in reception.  Soon, they came for me.  I’m ready to give them their moneys worth.  This may after all, lead to more voiceover gigs.  I step into the studio and they hand me the copy.  It’s short.  Really short.  It dawns on me that I’d driven 35 minutes, and re-arranged my whole morning for what might be the shortest announcing project in history.  The copy read, "Now open Sunday Noon to Six."  This was a tag on a furniture store ad, and to this day I don’t know why they thought they had to have me for this project.  I read the 6 words, and deposited the check soon after.  I didn’t want them to reconsider and cancel payment.

This is one of my favorite stories - because it’d be one of my first radio stories. 

I hadn’t been in the business 6 months when on WCVS @ 6pm, I uttered the words, "Cosmetic Testicles."  I was accused of saying, "Rubber Balls" - but I defended myself by saying, "Nope, I said Cosmetic Testicles."  I was coming out of a newscast with the late Marty Wright.  That day I’d received in the mail - a catalog from a medical supply warehouse.  It was full of rubber hands and steel knee-caps.  As I told the story, Marty chimed in, "I bet there’s one thing that’s NOT in there."  I shot back, "Nope they’re in here……COSMETIC TESTICLES!"  I held up the picture in the catalog for Marty to see, and there was a man wearing strap on testicles!!!  We both laughed hard and I hit the song.

As fate would have it, the song I started was, "Red Rubber Ball."  If you’re old enough, you remember it.  I hadn’t planned this.  It was fate that was the next song.  I was too green in the business at that point to have considered this second punch-line.  The HOTLINE rang almost immediately.  It was the Program Director Jim Palmer.  He asked calmly, "Did you just say Rubber Balls on the air?"  I said, "No Jim, I said C.T.."  Without pause, he asked me to meet with him in the GM’s office early the next day.  

After sweating about 15 hours, I met with Ken Spengler & Jim in Kens office.  I thought my young radio career was over.  Spengler proceeds to ask, "Son, what on Earth posessed you to go on my family station at 6pm during the dinner hour and say "Rubber Balls?"  You know my comeback by now.  He said, C.T. or rubber balls - it’s the same thing - if you ever ever ever pull something like this again, you are history!"

I hadn’t uttered the word testicles on the air for 30 years - until just recently when I told this story on WNNS.  The Governor had used the word with the media - and I followed the discussion with a song.  You guessed it.  RED RUBBER BALL.